so much has happened this week and im feeling so disorientated now. it doesn help that i came down with the flu last weekend and it lasted the whole week-_-

well anw. what we were dreading is confirmed. the thing abt dalt. heard it from 39 when we went back for campcraft trng. sigh. i dont want it to happen. i want dalt to belong to nynp forever. like it always has! whats so difficult abt that? why cant that freak understand our relationship with dalt is not some retarded whirlwind romance or some shortlived passion? we truly love dalt and we want it to be with us, tgt with nynp forever. i noe the higher authorities think that we cannot cope with 2 ccas. but dont they understand that dalt and np arent 2 ccas? they are ONE cca. its nynpcc/dalt, not nynpcc and dragon and lion dance troupe. i was talking to hj abt it. lamenting and cursing a certain someone. hj said that in the eyes of the higher authorities, ie the school, we cannot cope. cos we're achieving nothing out of np and nothing out of dalt as well. its not like we're especially successful or especially prominent in any field. thats true. i agree. we're not like our ma'ams were, before. but cant the school allow some leeway for a group of girls and their passion? its not like we're wasting resources or anth. we dont use much money. in fact, we MAKE MONEY FOR THE SCHOOL through dalt every new year during caiqing. (talk abt being ungrateful!) besides, they need us for welcoming and stuff. so we're useful. in a sense. hj says the school has its reasons, cos we're supposed to be an academic school, so naturally the school has got a reputation to uphold, and results to maintain. plus the IP, we definitely need to keep a certain standard. so they're worried that we arent able to perform as well in our academics and even pull the school standard down. but i dont believe any of our juniors are underperforming. in fact, many of them are above average or even the creme de la creme of the school. so who are they to pinpoint us and tell us that we should close our cca down cos we may be underperforming in our schoolwork?

sometimes the adults dont have enough reason to make a judgement, but they still go ahead to do it cos they believe that they are right. and they make these decisions and judgement at the expense of other ppl: "i have my reasons. (favourite phrase number 1) just as long as i feel what im doing is right, who cares about u? ure just students, children. what do u noe? "

yeah yeah thats what YOU think. but when ure the third party, like me and hj, u see much clearer.

so dont think i dont know what ure up to. i believe u noe perfectly well that separating dalt and np is going to cost us our cca cos both will probably close down. how do we, nynpcc/dalt get our just-hit-the-mark 20 ppl every year? through the fact that half of them joined for np and half of them joined for dalt. after the separation, do u honestly think we're still gg to get 20 ppl? i dont believe so. if everyone were so eager to join np, we wont be slogging out guts out every orientation to make ourselves as appealing to the sec 1s as possible. alot of us in np didn even put it as one of our choices; the school just threw us in to make the attendance. some of us unfortunate ones stayed, but some also left. no one blames those who left, cos u shouldn be forced to do stuff that u reallie didn want to do in the first place. but to those who stayed, thank u. and we're glad u found happiness in np.

sigh. okay im gg abit off tangent. but just thinking of our survival worries me. cos i believe we wont survive for long. and i noe thats what a certain someone has been waiting for. you just cant wait to see np and dalt close down, right? u freaking piece of shit.

anw thru talking to hj, we kinda came up with a win win soln. which i wun discuss here. DUH. cos its not confirmed and we've yet to tell the rest. but i hope with this soln, we'll be happier, though survival of our cca is still not guaranteed. sigh.

yeah so that was the big event that was bothering me most of the time. theres also this other big event, no this other big person actually, thats been reallie stressing me out. *rolls eyes*

i cant believe im actually so freaked out. by a person. ive nvr felt like that abt a person. the urge to run away, to hide, to make myself permanently unavailable. ARGH. and this stress has been giving me gastric these days. -_-

mud says she'll glare at this person the next time she sees "it" HAHAHA. shes the bestest best friend ever((:

and last night i got all stressed out trying to reserve seats! haha so dumb right. mud was so sweet, to come along and be with me the entire night until some of my class ppl came. me and mud by ourselves didn manage to reserve many seats, just the round table and two square tables. lol and we had to negotiate areas with nick loh and nick foo who came to reserve seats for 7A. but later yize eug su yingjie mingfui jy ian box came and took over me and mud, so i pei-ed mud home. hahaha i certainly hoped the class had fun last night! mud was asking whether i was sure i wanted to go home with her lol. so i told her next time still got chance to go out with junior class mah. haha. then she was more relieved.

okay. tmr's mugging day with mud! we made a pact to go to the library every sun to mug. heh its only january and im feeling so tiredd alrd. oh well. okay this is the end of my v long post. toodles!

Blogged @ 2:27 PM


just heard the news from jiaolian ytd.

i still cant believe it.

i hope YOU die. just go to hell, thickhead.

Blogged @ 12:30 PM