okay. here i am again.

my father's home alot these days. he keeps taking leave from work, for fun. maybe to be closer to us, but no offence, hes making the home environment reallie awkward. its so weird seeing him at home all day. besides, when hes home he keeps the aircon in his room on and the room becones kinda like a "sealed room" where my siblings and i cant enter freely as and when we want without feeling awkward. okay at least for me, i feel awkward. i cant reallie be myself these days. how i behave, where i put my stuff, even the television programmes that i watch are being closely scrutinised. so much that ill rather spend my entire day out with other ppl. which is what ive been doing.

what makes it worse is that mom's been all grouchy these days. shes always been my source of support, the sunshine in my life, cheering me up when im down, (yes i do get upset too, and i do need cheering up sometimes, even tho i may be the sunshine in the lives of others) but now she snaps at me everytime i speak to her-_- and she spends most of her time giving me curt replies sometimes i just dowan to speak to her anymore. i just detest curt replies. from anyone. it makes me feel unwanted, unloved and uncared for. and it makes me feel like i dont matter and i should shut up. so yeah, i just dont like it. i dunno why cant ppl make the effort to speak nicely, and explain stuff instead of snapping at and ignoring me. i mean, its not like i havent been a good daughter. sure, im naughty at times, and i misbehave, and i like to tease my mom alot, but since she started snapping at me from a few days back ive tried to be the perfect daughter. tried to understand more, tried to obey, tried not to say anth or do anth to make her mad. but i guess it doesn work-_-

sometimes she snaps at me so much i feel tears in my eyes. thats how much im hurt.

im not a person who cries when im bullied, or irritated or whatever. but this time im upset. cos maybe my mum's someone whos reallie close to my heart. like my sis and mud. and they matter alot. their opinions matter, how they view me matter. and in this case, how they treat me matter too. even if this is probably just temporary. but it still hurts. loads.

i seriously hope this is reallie temporary. tho i doubt it.

i want my mom back. sigh.

damn menopause. damn those hormones.


************************************************************************************

anw today the crazy club went to krabi! krabi is beautiful with many exotic flowers! and we also took alot of videos of weird ppl going to and coming from krabi. we even met an eccentric woman who's krabi passport was deemed invalid by the customs and couldn return to her country. we also took photos of the national monument of krabi, and we met a pair of tourists whose flight had been delayed due to flying crabs in the air.

so yes it was fun! the next time round, the crazy club shall go to somewhere more exotic=)

HELLO TO ALL KRABI CITIZENS, I DONT MEAN TO POKE FUN AT UR COUNTRY LIKE THIS, BUT WHAT HAPPENED WAS WHEN WE WERE CHECKING OUT THE ARRIVALS LIST, WE SAW THAT AN AIRPLANE WOULD BE FLYING IN FROM KRABI. WE WERE IGNORANT AND DIDN NOE WHERE KRABI WAS, SO WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE RATHER FUN TO CREATE OUR OWN IMPRESSION OF KRABI WITH OUR IMAGINATIONS. SO PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENCE. =)

but back home, i googled krabi, and discovered that its actually a very beautiful province in thailand. so see, we were right abt krabi being beautiful! but the flying crabs (krabs) and national monument of krabi resembling a crab pincer is all rubbish, hahaha. forgive our ignorance!

Blogged @ 10:14 PM


today was 38's farewell.

how fast time flies, eh?

only 4 years ago, we were sec 1s: shy, terrified cadets, who didn have a clue abt np life. now, we're j1s, coming back to the unit to help them out in campcraft comp, and attending the POPs and farewells of our cadets.

and today, we send our first batch of juniors off.

farewell has always been a time, when batches come back to see one another. at least, to me. cos 14 out of 16 of my sqd is in hwachong, thanks to IP. and minting and gen, who arent in the same sch as the rest of us, visit often enough for us not to miss them. so farewell is kinda like a diffeent event for us. we dun go back to catch up with one another (we do that only too often in school), but we go back, i guess, to see how much ma'ams have changed, how cadets have grown, and most imptly, to have fun with one another.

batch 37 has always been kinda anti-other-batches. we only stick to ourselves, never reallie mixing around much with cadets or ma'ams. haha i dunno how others see us. but i love us, i love the way we are, though we get totally carried away when we're tgt. but thats what makes us special and unique. we're close and comfortable enough with one another to totally lose ourselves in our own company. tell me, how many groups of 16 ppl can do this?

okay by now maybe ure like bored that i keep going on and on abt how much i love my sqd. haha. but i guess no amount of words can describe my sqd perfectly, cos there's just too much abt us.

anw, moving on. today there were only abt 5 of us? haha. but we had fun. at first it was pretty boring. cos we mostly sat around and self entertained, as usual. but later me and minting went out to snitch marshmallows. then after awhile, cadets had to leave the bbq pit to go for sqd time with their ncos, and me and minting had the pit all to ourselves! *hops around in glee* so we were zihighing at the pit, then 35 ma'ams came along. still feeling high, we decided to cook ma'ams some food. then later, all ma'ams left save for angela ma'am who stayed with us. had a vv nice chat with her. haha. talked abt life, abt studies, IP, school, sqdmates, nco-life (which me and minting had ALOT TO RANT ABT) and boys, of course. haha ma'am commented abt boys from various schs; who makes good bfs, who makes good husbands, who u shouldn ever date. lol.

well i guess thats what its all abt, isnt it? in np, u keep a barrier. but out of np, u learn from each other. everyone goes thru different experiences, so sharing will definitely be fruitful. and as seniors, we should always guide our juniors along. not just in np, but whenever they have any problems, we should be there to help them if need be. maybe not physical help, but even as a listening ear, i think that would be nice. cos the world's a stage, and everyone's in the cast for the play on the stage. so everyone's a friend.

and here's smth more interesting:

when minting and i were walking out of the condo today, (conneh py and lengjel went off first) we met meichun's mother. haha she asked us abt np, and how we managed our time, and how tough life was for us. of course there was the usual "np takes up alot of time, hor?" issue which most parents brood over for the 4 years we're committed to our cca. but minting and i enjoyed chatting with mrs fong very much. cos she reallie is a v pleasant woman. she didn chide us "ma'ams" abt taking up so much time for np, or complained abt trainings or wev. instead, she was more concerned in her daughter's development in np as a person; "campcraft.. so dirty, but meichun washes her clothes herself", and she held us in awe, amazingly, "i respect u all so much! i thought ma'ams were very old ppl, but u all are so young!"

i reallie respected mrs fong. she understood why we had to have these activities, and despite thinking that np takes up alot of time, she didn blame us for it. haha. she was shocked to discover that we are alrd j1 going on to j2. we were assuring her that time reallie flies, and before she noes it, batch 40 would have graduated.

and its true. 4 years ago, i never thought i would survive to see this day. because of everything we went thru.

but we did. and so would 39 40 41 42 and so on. everyone will graduate one day as ma'ams and as nanyang girls. but its the memories u take along with u that will tell a different story abt each and every batch. for us, we hold scarred but precious memories of our np life. but i hope, that our juniors will have a better life than us.

what doesn kill u only makes u stronger. learn to take things in ur stride, come what may, juniors.

Blogged @ 11:49 PM


stupid blogger deleted my post. GRAH.

I LOST MY WALLET=(

its like black with grey cats all over it.

dun ask me why i lost it. im a human, for goodness sake. so i make mistakes too. and dun ask me where i lost it. if i knew do u think ill bother typing this post?-_-

so please if u see it, return it to nanyang girls high school. it has my nanyang card in it anw.

this wallet is vv precious to me because:
1) the wallet is from my sqddie jb
2) my ezlink card is inside
3) so is my medical benefit card
4) but most imptly, everything my friends give me that can fit into my wallet are inside! and these include sqd photos, tianwang neoprints, my parents' photo, me and mud's photo, birthday cards from my friends, get well notes, lame poems, and all those ridiculously retarded haikus mud wrote abt eating rabbits HAHA.

and of cos i have my money and a ton of receipts inside.

so yes im missing my wallet alot alot. please return it if u have it or happened to pick it up.

its not the money issue, as u realise. the money u can have. i dun give a damn abt the money. money is a worldly possession, shared by all, belonging to no one in particular. money lost can be earned back, likewise, money gained can be lost. but its whats inside thats reallie precious and matters to me. and its because its reallie precious to me that i would stupidly carry everything around with me. sigh.

ive been thinking of my wallet every single minute since i discovered it was lost (im not kidding) and yea thats how much i miss my wallet. and thats how much i love my wallet too. i nvr loved anything/anyone so much in my life. gosh.

so please, do a good deed and return my wallet. ill be reallie reallie grateful if u do. thanks.

Blogged @ 4:16 PM