i havent been here in eons. literally.

last post dated 3 Aug? haha. when have i gone so long without blogging? or did i?

im no longer the frumpy, frivolous girl i once was at the beginning of this year. im no longer 100% positive, happy, or even crazy like before. ive even lost the naivety that made me different from others. in other words, im just a typical 17 year old now. or worse. is that good? fitting in like the rest of my peers? personally i dun think so. im even beginning to find myself boring.

where have i gone? seriously. jaded by schoolwork, projects, irresponsible individuals and relationships, yea, ive spelt it all out. but ive never been so affected before. nothing, i repeat, NOTHING, that stood in my way was enough to change my character. deep down or on the surface, i dunno, im still the same old me. unique the way i am, special and precious in the eyes of some. but some part of me has changed. im more tired, i get bored easily, i no longer think the world is beautiful. in some ways. maybe im getting old? haha. but thats like. -_- ure 17 years old and u claim ure getting old.

maybe one day ill find myself back. somehow.

and here ill make a promise to myself: ill never never let anything or anyone change who i am. no matter what.

cos its not worth it.

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this year wasnt as good as it started out. maybe its fate? maybe its just an obstacle i have to cross for a better life. (HA HA better life-_-)

the gods have been funny, planting weird ppl in my life this year. i have wonderful friends, ppl who will be there for me no matter what. ppl who treasure me, ppl who enjoy my company, ppl who love me as much as i love them. but there were also ppl who were rude, irresponsible, irritating, unreasonable, blah blah.

i noe i have done wrong too. cos it takes two hands to clap. but i just wish that they found me as irritating as i found them. its fairer that way.

anw.

Blogged @ 1:31 PM