haha mud and i met at interchange at 9.30+++am to have bubble tea. v early in the morning but we dun care. haha. the uncle/gorgor gave us alot of pearls!(: nice. then at like 10.20 we set off for cine, where we were supposed to meet sqddies at 10.30 omg. so obviously we were late. we were still in taka's toilet when a v anxious sounding jlk called. hehe. then we walked over to cine, called jlk and realised they were outside More Than Words. so we were on the escalator, looking around for sqddies, then saw all of them standing in a row outside More Than Words. haha totally xiadao! but they looked so cute. it was so so nice to see everyone again(((:

then we went kboxing. and it was super fun!! we sang reallie nice songs like shao nian, li liang, chuang, jue jiang, ren sheng hai hai, chu lian de fen se xi. and all the vvv nice songs our sqd used to sing. and still love. wah i was like tearing when we were singing shao nian. omg how i missed the past. haix. and of course since we're in kbox, might as well biao yin. so we sang all those high voiced songs as well. haha. and we jumped on the sofa! hehe so funnn! kbox rocks(:

ah mud bibi and litian(: me and mud at interchange(:

camera flashed and sqdmates xiadao HAHA
the unsuspecting jolene poon and sqddies=P

and we cam whored in the toilet hehe!

mud and lin yu zhong

and mud and olivia with wang dong cheng and wu zun!

and here is our sqd(: (the ppl who were here today)

me and hj(:

whee. then aft kboxing. sqd outing started to get a little screwed. some sqdmates went shopping, then some stayed outside. we were stranded at pacific plaza for a while. me bibi weilin jp and cp. then later hj called and me and jlp went to fetch her. then when we came back, sqdmates left for far east alrd. so jlp and carol went home. then bibi and weilin were busying themselves with the Sunday Times sudoku. damn funny la omg! HAHA. should have taken a photo. so me and hj went shopping by ourselves. hehe. we walked to plaza sing! then loitered there for 3 hours and went to drink tea and stuff. WAHAHA. then later hj's parents came and i went home too.

thats the end of sqd outing haha.

okay. this following part is shit so dun bother reading it.

hmm. was talking to hj today abt stuff. cos i wasnt feeling v happy. then it made me wonder whether im v high maintenance. i dun ask for much, but what i ask for is the hardest to give, as someone once put it. i dun need fame glory money big cars and houses nice dresses diamonds jewellery branded goods or whatever. i just need alot of love care and attention from ppl. and thats super high maintenance because:

1) its not that easy to give all ur love care and attention to someone

2) when i say attention i reallie mean attention. like, 100% attention.

3) i talk super alot without ever getting tired. so this attention giver must focus on me for eternity. which is uber tiring.

4) i can be reallie crazy. and i can be v temperamental too. esp when im pmsing..

5) i have an inability to be truly honest about my feelings. like, i have a problem speaking all the negative stuff that goes on in my head. for example, if i dun like smth, i cannot bring myself to say i dun like it. ill just smile and take whatever ppl give me. but later ill whack myself for being stupid. i cant be truly honest because im afraid of hurting the other party's feelings. sound very weida (yeah right) but its for my own selfish means actually. since im a person who requires alot of love care and attention, i cant bring myself to hurt my love care and attention giver. or else theres a chance ill lose that. so yea. ill rather shou wei qu than hurt someone else.

6) im a v dependent girl. im afraid of being alone. haha.

7) im good at making ppl worry.

then u noe, being all this demanding is not that bad if i were a huge chiobu. but im not. so im srsly high maintenance.

haix.

i think i suck.

nvm.

anw. i was just wondering why i seemed to be happier last year. maybe it was innocent happiness, or like, a simpler kind of happiness. i dunno. but last time i had distict emotions. im either happy or sad or angry. theres no mixing or in betweens. but now i can be reallie temperamental and i can feel.. nothing at all. its not indifference. its just, feeling nothing. even indifference is a feeling. haix. i dunno why. i should go seek happiness. but where do i find it?

i dun think anyone has ever been truly happy.

but when i was at my happiest, i reallie enjoyed it.

and i want it back.

will i ever find it again?