just read jp's blog

started emo-ing all over again.

seriously, sometimes i wonder why i care so much. why i get so pissed over what happened. why im still hanging on to the past and not moving on. its over. ITS OVER! i dunno why i just cant let it go.

and it seems like its only the two of us who are reallie affected by this. n hj and carol. tho they were nvr reallie hit by the magnitude of HIS wrath right smack in the face, they were always there to share it.

its too hard for jp and i to forget.

the way u condemed us a FEW WEEKS into our NCO life.
the way u made numerous EMPTY promises to us. and to think we were actually innocent and stupid enough to believe u.
the way u threw away ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN pages of OUR hard work without even looking at it.
the way u used ALL means to stop us from getting what we want. (NYNP had a DAY CAMP. ugh! wat a joke! DID U REALISE HOW HUMILIATING THAT WAS? DID U REALISE HOW DISAPPOINTED THE REST OF THE UNIT WERE? WE ARE A UG. A DAY CAMP IS PATHETIC, U FREAKING BALDING PIECE OF SHIT!)
the way u NEVER follow wat u PREACH.
the way u freaking stood at the back of the hall watching the most freakingly disgusting ceremony going on
the way u nvr failed to spoil things for us again and again.

and now?

why, u simply gave it to them
hmm? did they write ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN PAGES?
did they spend 122 days and nights perfecting the proposal for ur viewing??
did they beg u?
did they lick ur boots? polish ur shoes? wash ur transplanted hair?

no, im sure they didn.
but they got it SO SIMPLY.
why ah?
tell me.

ITS BECAUSE URE SIMPLY BIASED.
u practice favouritism so beautifully u engulf all of us in ur embrace.
u spin us round and round in ur intricately spun cocoon so that we will obediently comply to what u say.
then later, u just walk off. disappear. and leave us to suffocate in ur cocoon.
u hoped we'll die, didn u? u thought we died, right?

ure wrong.

havent u ever learnt science? (oH, i forgot. ure a HISTORY teacher. u have only VERY elementary knowledge of science. aye, how could i be so insensitive? tsktsk.)
what comes out of a cocoon, is not dead ppl. its not shit or crap either.
the ONLY thing that emerges from a cocoon is a brand new life.

maybe i should THANK u for creating butterflies out of us.
after all, what doesnt kill u only makes u stronger.

look at us. and look at u NOW. everyone's moved on. we have different lives now. we are happy, contented, and maturing beauifully.
look where u are. ure still in the same place, doing the same mediocre(oH i forgot. maybe making ppl's lives miserable isn mediocre to u at all. u enjoy it, dun u?) job for the same pathetic salary. and what do u get out of this?

nothing.

sober up. what ure doing will nvr get u anywhere. the only change i see in u is ur progressively thinning hair struggling to emerge from ur pathetic scalp. i just dun understand u. u transplanted ur hair twice didn u? both times it failed, didn it? then? u still dun get it? why do u keep wasting resources? just give up! give the hair to someone else who needs it more AND is more fated to have hair on his/her head.

*scoffs* when will u ever learn?

u just dun give a damn, do u?
please. we dun need u to give a damn abt us. but how abt ur child? do u have any idea what implications ur actions might have? hello, earth to u, havent u ever heard of KARMA?

yes, thats right. karma. OH, u just realised it din u? what? what did u say? oH, ure regretting, issit? ooh, and did i hear a SORRY coming from u? why, i dunno wat to say. should i tell u the truth? yes? okay, here goes...

karma is built up over time, u freaking shithead. with ALL the bad and horrible naughty things u have done, no amount of good deeds will ever be able to balance it.

so there.

go pray ba. pray, pray hard.
u'll need it.
tho i dunno who up there will be willing to help u.

Blogged @ 8:05 PM