if ure talking to a kid, does it mean u needn't respect him/her?

i often ponder.

apparently this is true to my father. he strongly believes in it.

i am a person who lives believing in mutual respect. if i respect u, i expect u to respect me back. that is the rule in my world. i dun see why is it so hard for ppl(population 1, my father) to ahdere to that rule. in all my memory, i see him as a strict man. a distant, strict man. since i was young, he would teach me to say please and thank you, but he nvr did use these words himself. as far as i rmb, it was always us children tending to the likes of him, nvr the other way round. i am not a greedy person; i dun ask for much. but is it too much to request that he speak to me in a nice tone and say thank you when i do him a favour? i think not.

in all his life, my father has been a smooth achiever. born academically smart, he topped hwa chong junior college(now HCI) in his first year and was one out of only four people in the school who got 4 As for his A levels, very rare during that time. he declined an overseas scholarship, went on to NUS on a local scholarship, pursued a degree in engineering (and later, a masters degree) and came out to society to work. he met my mum, who happens to be a very good tempered, obliging person who nvr got angry, got married, and had us. my mum takes care of everything in the house, leaving him to spend all the time he wants in his office, where his second home is. so naturally, we children are not close to our father, since we hardly see him.

i suppose my father's smooth life moulded his character. strong headed, hot tempered, proud, mu4 zhong1 wu2 ren2, old, rigid way of thinking, made up the bad side of him. of course, he is responsible, occasionally funny, and very knowledgeable too. sadly, he doesnt potray much of the good side of him; it is the bad side which i often see. you could say he would have made a good father in the 1950s, 1960s. he is the typical MCP of today, believing in only himself and no one else. as the "head of the house" he strongly believes that what he says goes, and will nvr seek /accept a second opinion. he has his own set of views on things, and it is almost impossible to get him to change his view. till today, he believes that u will have a future only if u go to jc. if u go to poly or anywhere else, ure finished. many a time i have argued with him about this. ( i often argue with him). he just doesnt see my point, no matter how i put it across. he believes in the oddest things. "people in neighbourhood schools are goners". "only the shows which i recommend are good. all the shows u and ur siblings watch are rubbish". "canned food is good. u should only eat the food u like. who cares about ur health?" NO. NO. NO.

*(for the first point, in case u dunno, neighbourhood school kids can turn out even more successful than kids who graduate from top schools! reason being? they are more exposed to society, they are more street smart, and they have a higher EQ generally. they may even have a higher IQ. rmb, they are in neighbourhood schools because they are not academically good. it doesnt mean they are stupid, or dumb, or a goner. sometimes, they are smarter than people from top schools. not good academically DOES NOT MEAN not clever. so maybe singapore should stop looking at solely the academic achievements of people. rmb, EVERY SCHOOL HAS THEIR SHARE OF BADLY BEHAVED CHILDREN AND WELL BEHAVED CHILDREN. there is no GOOD SCHOOL in the world. there are only "academically strong schools". BEAR THAT IN MIND. )

as for the second and third point, its true. he reallie thinks like that. whatever show my siblings and i watch are deemed "stupid waste of time, culture-less, value-less" by him. only shows that he recommends are "good for us". which is something i cannot bear. often, these episodes result in huge quarrels between my father and i. among the three children in the family, my character is the most similar to my father's. i inherited the strongest part of him: strong headedness. i insist on my point, he insists on his. rigid, stubborn, neither of us are willing to give in. often, the quarrel/argument ends with me leaving and going to my room, refusing to argue anymore only out of politeness and remembering that he is, after all, still my father.

just the other day, me, being a young, vain girl, decided to apply nail polish on my nails. having done that, i happily sat on the sofa and watched tv. suddenly, i felt the presence of someone behind me. i looked up and saw my father, looking as black as a thunder cloud. he pointed to my nails and asked in a tone which i didn like, "what are those?" i promptly replied that it was nail polish. then he asked(raising his voice), "what did u apply it for?" in that same, disgusting tone. pissed off by now at the lack of respect he showed when talking to a person, i answered indignantly, "i like it". then of course, that also got him pissed, naturally. and he began raising his voice at me, telling me that i had bad character and all that. then i told him, "my teachers also use nail polish". and he almost-shouted back, "ni3 de4 lao3 shi1 shi4 bai4 lei4!" by then, i was super pissed. but i kept quiet, trying to tolerate a little more. then he went on, to tell me about how i have no culture at all, and yadda yadda. then he said, if he sees the nail polish tmr, he will forcefully scrape it off. and i was thinking, scrape, la. scrape and i'll call the cops. sue u for abuse.

like, hello? all u girls out there, please help me justify myself. is nail polish a CRIME? i mean, seriously, dun most girls apply or play with nail polish? furthermore, its the holidays. and its not like i'm applying nail polish on my father! u must understand the seriousness of the situation...i hardly have privacy. the only privacy i get is bathroom privacy, which of course, thank god, he cannot force me to leave the door open. other than that, even when i need some quiet to do homework or to ponder abt stuff, and shut the door behind me, i would hear him screeching from the living room for me to "open that door at once". even when i use the comp and go online, he likes to walk abt to spy on what i'm doing, who i'm talking to etc. and if he cant see, he will ask me what i'm doing. (suddenly rmb smth he doesnt get to flip through...my handphone. thank god.)

okay, this is just a complainy post from me to the public abt my father. i noe its a sin to talk abt my father like that. ppl say, dun wash ur dirty linenin public. but its either this, or i publish a book. which is better? i think this. lesser chance of my father noe-ing actually...*crosses fingers*

i dun think u can classify this as a hate post. its more like a...venting post. and i'm not even shooting at my father. it seems to me that i'm talking in a roundabout manner to not make my father seem as bad as he is and at the same time, not to exergerate the situation at all. so..u be ur own judge.

Blogged @ 9:56 PM