CC Comp is tmr

jiayou teamates!!!!!! u all will do well!

NYNP WILL ROCK THE PITCH!!!!!!

strive for it

go for it

and we'll get it. =)))))))))

i feel indifferent.

jiayou teams 1 and 2, and bring glory back to NYNP. strive for the best, and give ur most=)))

i'm sorrie i'm unable to be there pitching. me and jlp will be in the reserves tent doing dunno what

what kind of a rule is that....reserves must sit in some tent and STONE while ur team pitches? i just dun feel good abt it. i ALREADY dun feel good about many many things.
1) i seriously think i'm a jinx.
2) i seriously regret all the past recent decisions i have made. it has brought a lot of pain and misery to me and i think to others also.
3) i hate myself
4) i wish i'd nvr been born
5) i noe a lot of ppl want to kill me RIGHT NOW

i just dunno what else to say abt myself.
I'M THE WORLD'S GREATEST LOSER

i just want to die. i hate this nagging guilt in me. i hate feeling bad for everything i am doing because i made a wrong decision once. either commit or dun commit. GRAH i feel so halfway! i hate this feeling! but i noe its my own fault. its all my fault. my stupid fault. and i bet everyone else hates me for it too.

i'm going to be true to myself on this post. i'm a total sucker. i'm real upset and unsettled inside but i'm trying to show i'm not. which i am totally failing at and as a result appear schrizrophrenic (or HOWEVER u spell THAT) i'm happy at one moment and sad the next...i just wish i can show how i reallie feel. i wish i can express. but i cant do so. i dunno how to. ain't i pathetic?

ok. let's analyse me. i'm this human on earth who doesn noe what she wants in life. this human also always makes the wrong decisions. even worse, she has to pretend to be someone she isnt because she doesnt NOE how to be the REAL HER. she carn express her true thoughts and feelings through action. though she can through words and writings, it still isnt enough. oh my god. what is this person doing on earth then?

i'm a total failure.

i'm just upset

u can ignore this post. its just for me to vent the rest of my frustrations

sqdmates and friends and taggers: dun worrie abt me, i'll be fine once i get over this.=) thanks so much for all ur support and encouragement. i'll try to sober up and try to be happy.=) thanks.

Blogged @ 8:18 PM