hey

havent blogged for a long time... and even if i have they havent been very long.

its 11.33 now. sqdmates are all at sana course. BSP sqdmates are having camp. i'm sick at home. *cries* nvm i'll join the BSP sqdmates when they go for their sana course. maybe i was too excited abt sana course. that's why i got so sick yesterday. i drank coconut juice, then i felt very bloated and felt like vomitting. then, later it kinda cleared and i started having gastric pains. it was 9pm. 10pm, it was still hurting like mad. i couldn tahan and at 11 i ate medicine and went to bed. wah the whole night cannot sleep sia. toss here toss there...it was hurting like anything. then i woke up at 3.30am. reallie cannot tahan. went to eat some more antacid. this time i ate two. then i messaged sqdmates that i cannot go liao...then went to sleep again. but it still hurts...somehow, the medicine doesn't seem to have an effect on me and the pain hasnt stopped since it started. then finally, at ard 4am, i woke my mum up. at first i wanted to get my sis to wake my mum. but she slept like a pig. cannot wake up...so i went myself. then my mum was quite kanchiong. she made me drink milk, eat some more antacid. then she tell me dun go sana, go see doctor tmr. we sat on the sofa for quite a long time to wait for me to digest the milk. then she came into the room and slept beside me. apparently my sis was still sleeping like a pig. and she didn noe my mum was sharing the bed as well, so she took up like 2/3 of the bed and me and my mum SQUEEZED in 1/3 of the bed. aiyoyo. then i woke up at 5.30am. wanted to go sana. but then it still hurt. so i went back to sleep. then, woke up at 6 (my sis woke me up, blurly asked me whether i'm going to school) i was like no cos its still painful. then finally, i woke up at 7.45am...the pain was gone, but it was too late to go...so ya. i'm confined at home now...=(( just went to see doctor. then she gave me a lot of medicine. and ask me to eat. then got some funnie medicine its like want to eat then eat dun want then dun want.

then its like on the way to the doctor (me and my brother) i witnessed smth horrible but my brother thinks its funnie. he's a sadist. we were crossing the road. then my brother was trying to kick some pigeons, and i was yelling at him to stop being so cruel then suddenly, we heard a squelch. i looked ard and saw a pigeon rolled over by a car, blood spattered everywhere and its like...so dead. i seriously got a shock and i (okay, i screamed, and i nearly cried. haha if i didn say this no one would believe i was so calm=P) grabbed my brother. but he actually laughed! he was like: oh the poor flat pigeon! then he started saying stuff like it deserves to die and that its stupid to play on the road. i mean...carn he show some compassion? the pigeon died leh. its not a computer game or smth. then later when we came home from the doctor i made my brother walk a long route with me just to avoid the pigeon. reallie cannot stand the sight of it. and i reallie cannot stand him. haiz. kids nowadays ah... they seem to not be able to differentiate what's real and what's not. they seem to have lost the sense of compassion for living creatures, be it pigeons, humans, animals or even immobilised creatures like plants who only move to face the sun. not very long ago, my brother's friend died in a car accident. i was horrified. he was only 8. when i broke the news to my brother and asked him about what he actually thought of his friend, whether he missed his friend, my brother actually said :" he die better! he so naughty! die already very good!" i was totally confused by his behaviour. i thought he would have at least asked me why he died, and how. (of course i didn expect him to cry. he's a guy after all) and when he said these words to me, it reallie set me thinking. what actually made him think this way? did he reallie mean what he said, or was he just too innocent to understand what death is?

these are just thoughts, and i dun only observe them in my brother. i did have a talk with him. and i do hope he reflects.

sigh...wondering how are sqdmates now. JIAYOU!!! and all the best to them! get the badge k!!! wahaha. my time will come soon.

Blogged @ 11:33 AM